So Much Stuff I Can't Recall

Why you should read my review of Hellboy: This is the first review where I intentionally told a lie - okay, not so much a lie as I was in error where the truth is concerned. In my opening sentence I say that this is the first Guillermo del Toro movie I've seen. That's not true. Before I published the review I checked the Internet Movie Database and discovered that del Toro also directed Mimic. Since I liked the way the sentence in the review read - and the previous reviewer had just said he was unfamiliar with the comic and I didn't want to be completely redundant - I left it in.

Not exactly a reason to read the review as a bit of trivia behind the review itself.

Did I make any other factual errors I'm not copping to? Read the review and find out.

Why you should read my review of Shoot/Don't Shoot: There's a Dirty Harry reference in the title of the review, plus I use the phrases "blatant melodrama." What more could you want? Okay, I avoid the use of puns this time. Check it out.

Well, that's no longer the case. Phil has successfully completed Mission 7: The Pilfered Prototype. Among the tasks he performed were:

• Rescuing a scientist from a moving train
• Blowing up a fuel depot
• Flying into an airplane hangar
• Shooting down a highly-skilled (ace level) pilot

Not bad for a 4 year old. (I hear Eddie Rickenbacker had a 2% hit/miss ratio until he was 7).

We had a great time.

• S'mores Time 1
  
  
• S'mores Time 2
  
  
• Phil and Jackson Chow Down
  
  
• Philip Gets a Cupcake
  
  
• Andy with His Present from Phil
  
  
• It's Showtime!
  
  
• Glowsticks Were a Big Hit
  
  
• Full-On Glow
  
  
• Happy Campers
  
  

Click here for a printable coupon.

Photographic evidence of Phil's achievement:

• Phil at the Computer
  
  
• Close-Up of the Computer Screen

Why you should read my review of Montage of Mysteries: Not only do I make a snarky comment about the old Andy Hardy movies, but I also reference this site (hitting the "try again" button gives you a new dynamic duo). Good fun for the whole family.

Why you should read my review of The House: First, reading the review will hopefully dissuade you from reading the book. It's a) not that well written/structured and b) got subject material that's disgusting. Usually I'll take the books I'm done with and put them up in the lounge/meeting room at the lodge here, for guests to enjoy while they're here or to take home with them (they're almost all $1 thrift store books to begin with, and then there's the tax write-off to consider). This one's going in the trash. It's just an all-around bad book.

Second, I comment on my upbringing (if not parentage*). Ooooh, are skeletons let out of the closet? Read the review to find out.

*(My drivers ed. teacher in high school, Mr. Nishaguchi, freqently commented that poor behavior (like cheating on a test) reflected poorly on our parentage and upbringing. That comment, and the IPDE thought process are the only things that have stuck with me for the past 20 years. Even Red Asphalt is a dim memory - or perhaps I've completely repressed it.)

Why you should read my review of Basket Case: Another pun, this time clearly identified. Plus, ya gotta love it any time you can see the phrases "roadkill-eating ex-governors" and "freezer-preserved monitor lizard" in close proximity.

Why you should read my review of The Blessing Way: I coin a new word. Plus, I mined Amazon's database to come up with a list of other books published in 1970; check 'em out.

We have no idea from where this came, and we have no idea what the bend over and look between your legs part means.

But it sure is fun to watch.

Here are some excerpts:   1   2   3   4

I took photos.

Here they are:

• Phil & Druid
  
  
• Phil & Popeye
  
  
• Phil with Buttercup, Willow & Rex
  
  
• Phil with Linus & Koi
  
  
• Phil & Sunny
  
  
• Phil & Mr. T
  
  
• Phil & Clover
  
  
• Phil & Shaylee
  
  
• Phil & Mr. John
  
  
• Phil with Ms. Pam & Melissa
  
  
• Phil & Ms. Debi
  
  

We were fortunate to have her come back this year for the final week of camp. Here's what they look like as of today (by the way, Phil wanted to wear his cap backwards so he would look like - in his words - "one of those cool dudes").

Here's how it looked:

• Innertube or Giant Chocolate Doughnut
  
  
• Toobin'
  
  
• On the Beach
  
  
• PhilZilla Takes on the Fleet
  
  
• Diggin' in Deep
  
  
• Summertime and the Snackin' Is Easy
  
  

Particularly sweet are:

• The Crooze Fast Fuse
  
  
• Tooned Sixy Beast
  
  
• Swoop Coupe
  
  
• Wild Thing
  
  
and


• The Sharkruiser
  
  

Phil may have to put off college a year or so.

Very handy - until they stop working.

Then you have to connect the camera directly to the computer to download the files, and if you've lost the USB cable, you have to go with the much slower serial port connection - and then the computer crashes and you have to reboot and you express yourself in colorful metaphors and you check the Mac laptop several times to make sure they really didn't hide a serial port on there somewhere because you've been told that Macs "just work," but not if they don't have the right connector, they don't - so you wait and wait and wait and eventually all the pictures transfer and you go out the next day and buy a new USB card reader and then you write a review about it on Amazon.

Why you should read my review of the Lexar Compact Flash USB Card Reader: I do an abbreviated version of the above rant, plus I shamelessly gadget name drop, and I make a couple suggestions as to how the card reader could be improved; in short, I get my full inner geek on.

Check it out.

Why you should read my review of Shroud for a Nightingale: First, it's my hundredth review; give me a break, huh? Second, I title the review in a Dickensian manner; got to love that Dickens (no, really, as an English major it was required). Third, I use the word concomitant (correctly, even) in the review ... and it wasn't the "word of the day" on the desk calendar (I don't even have a dictionary desk calendar, it's tangrams (see review here)). So there're three good reasons - besides what else were you going to do today?

What have I been doing all week? Well, trying to keep cool, for one thing. For another, I've been working with digital video on the Mac (having a laptop is great, I sat in the shade down by the lake and edited video).

Our friends with the digital video camera were back this week, so I took the footage they shot and added it to some they gave me at the beginning of the summer and made a video to the Monkees theme song, and played it for the departing campers this afternoon; I'd put it online, but the fine people at the record companies would get upset with me for distributing the song without permission (i.e., paying them a big fee).

I also took about three minutes of footage of campers sliding on inner tubes down a wet tarp and into the lake (or trying to - it was literally rough sledding for some of them) and matched it up with some music and played that for them, too. The footage of this may actually make in on the web, since it's not dependent on the music to figure out what's going on.

Part of the Monkees video included this clip of Phil (you may need to download the QuickTime viewer, available here).

Why you should read my review of Minor in Possession: Despite its setting in Arizona (JP's usual beat is Seattle), it rains a lot in the first half of this book. In honor of this meteorological anomaly I peppered my opening paragraph with some subtle (?!) aquatic puns. They're not too bad. Honest.

BTW, if anyone but me is keeping track, I'm over 600 helpful votes now on 99 reviews. What will the 100th review be? Will it come tomorrow? Stay tuned.

Why you should read my review of Redwall: I wax nostalgic over some "animal books" from my childhood (I avoided the easy Fletch line about "elephant books" altogether) and comment on a memorable TV show. What books and programs are responsible for my present state of warpage? Read the review and find out.

Why you should read my review of If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-Movie Actor: After I sweated through last week reading the book, reading my review is the least you can do. Voting "YES - This Review Was Helpful to Me" is the most you could do ... and would be greatly appreciated.

• Mugshot - Looking Forward
  
  
• Okay, Turn Left, Please
  
  
• Right Profile Now, Thank You
  
  
• Philip Uses His Noodle
  
  
• Phil with Ms. Debi and Brianna, Her Granddaughter
  
  
• Group Photo Time #1
  
  
• Group Photo Time #2

• A Fuzzy Photo of a Fuzzy Bunny

At The Stitches

• Phil goes up the giant inflatable slide
  
  
• Phil goes down the giant inflatable slide
  
  
• Phil and Mrs. Stitch
  
  
• Phil and the magnificent pool o' soda
  
  
• (right to left) Phil, Baby Stitch, Baby Stitch's friend
  
  
• Two-fisted Drinkin' Mama

• Phil and Harley
  
  
• Pinball Wizard I
  
  
• Pinball Wizard II

Why you should read my review of The Stainless Steel Rat's Revenge: Does the SSR series go downhill fast the way Bill the Galactic Hero did? Also covered: What does the book have in common with which mid-1960's TV series? Read and find the answers to these burning questions* and more.


*If reading the review does not relieve the burning, please consult your physician about your salve/poultice options.