So Much Stuff I Can't Recall

Friday, January 26, 2007

Six Oddnesses

I got tagged by Michelle in the latest "awkward confessional" meme that's circulating on the internets. Six Weird Things About Me. I came up with six, but one of them deserves a post all of its own, so I've resorted to hyperbole and making things up for one of the items below. Can you find it?

Six Weird Things About Me
  1. I'm terrified of the new $100 bills. Ben Franklin's big ol' noggin, the way his eyes follow you. It's uncanny. If you want to scare me half to death, send me a $100 bill in the mail. I can tell counterfeit, so don't be a jerk. Krugerands are also frightening. They make me think of Freddy Kruger, and horizontal stripes -- like on his bloodstained brown and red rugby shirt -- don't look good on me at all.

  2. I often daydream of being on Oprah, not to discuss my writing, but my line of hand-beaded luxury accessories (purses, neckties, chewing gum valises, etc.) Not that I actually do any hand-beading; I think mainly because I'm afraid I'm not ready for Oprah yet.

  3. I do not enjoy the aerial bucket rides at amusement parks. Not so much because of the precarious height and flimsy connection from bucket to cable and the way they swing threateningly in even the slightest breeze, but because I imagine that I'm being carried to a detention facility high in the Swiss alps as I've been framed for the murder of a loved one and also I don't speak French and will not be able to understand the guards who will beat me for not obeying rules I cannot possibly understand. But I blame my fear on heights, mostly.

  4. I pronounce the L in Salmon, even when not referring to the author, Rushdie.

  5. I am right-handed, but wear my wristwatch on my right hand. I blame this on my older, left-handed brother who refuses to wear his watch on the wrong hand and make things even. Should open war ever break out between our two families, this is why.

  6. I have only one anecdote that deals with the prefix "pseudo." If you use said prefix conversationally, I will tell the anecdote to you. So you will be prepared to laugh at the appropriate moment, should I ever tell you the anecdote in person, I will tell it now so you will be ready.
    When Dina and I lived in Sunnyvale, our rental condo had underground parking. None of that is germane to the anecdote, but it helps set the scene, which, again, is not at all relevant. Suffice it to say that I was waiting in the car -- our Plymouth Champ, if I recall correctly and irrelevantly -- listening to talk radio, probably KGO, doesn't really matter, and the caller was ranting about people who pretend they're smart. Whether the caller was a liberal complaining about conservatives putting on smartypants airs or vice versa isn't important so don't worry about it. What is important -- and the closest thing to a point this anecdote has -- is that this caller referred to such people as "suede-o intellectuals."
    I guarantee I will not tell the anecdote any better than that.

As far as I can tell, all my blogging buddies have already been hit by this meme. Rather than add to their shame by tagging them a second (or third, or fourth) time, I'll open up the tag to whoever has wanted to share six weird things about him- or herself and feels slighted that no one has tagged them yet. If you're playing along, leave a note in the comments so we can all come over and point and laugh and spill hot cocoa on your faux hardwood floors. Maybe I'll share my "pseudo" anecdote again.



4 Snarky Remarks:

You only made one up?
Blogger ~michelle pendergrass, at 12:57 PM  
Awesome! 100 points for making me laugh. Repeatedly. And don't worry. I wouldn't dream of frightening you with any $100 bills.
Blogger Jeanne Damoff, at 1:20 PM  
Yeah? You only made one up? I do like the pseudo-sued-o thing. When I was a kid and reading words I'd never heard spoken before, I'd do that all the time, but I think I was like 8 or 9. Definitely not on the radio.

I think your fear of $100 bills goes with Michelle's fear of door knobs. Hmm. Sounds like a suspense plot to me.
Blogger Unknown, at 2:24 PM  
Mich: Well, only one was entirely made up. I'm only mildly uncomfortable around $100 bills.

Jeanne: 50 points right back at you for your restraint. Thanks.

Jen: Hmmmmm...
Blogger Mikesell, at 10:38 PM  

Get snarky