So Much Stuff I Can't Recall

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Celebrate the Season, Ralphie-Style

I'll admit I've never seen the movie A Christmas Story. One of my sisters bought it for us for Christmas a few years back, but to date Dina hasn't consented to let it be played in the home DVD player. Or a computer DVD drive. Or the car DVD player. I think were I take the DVD and watch it at a remote location on my PowerBook I would not be able to admit, publicly or privately, that I had watched the movie. Phil would find himself in the library doing "alternate study" were the film to be shown at school.

She does not like it, Sam I Am.

But from what I gather there's a boy, Ralphie, who wants a BB gun, but his folks are afraid he'll shoot his eye out. And there's some kind of mannequin leg lamp. I think there's a tongue-stuck-to-a-frozen-flagpole bit, too. Chevy Chase is not in the movie. (But we can't watch that film, either.)

Dina, as far as I know, would prefer that Ralphie get the gun and then shoot himself in the eye. Off-screen, of course, and not necessarily in the eye. A bang. The twang of a ricochet. A satisfying Ow! Which is why I think I'm safe in sending you to dontshootyoureyeout.com. A game where Ralphie-boy finds himself with a Red Wrangler Authentic Pump Action Saddle Carbine -- a knock-off of the Daisy Red Ryder 200-shot Carbine Action Air Rifle Ralphie (according to the IMDB) wanted. Only holds ten shots, but you can get more ammo for good shooting (1,000 points). Pump the gun (hit spacebar) up to three times. More power means greater likelihood of a high score, but also increases the possibility of shooting yourself in the eye. (No fair turning your back to the BB. Any "accidental contact" loses you the points for that shot.)

My high score is in the 24,000 range. Two "accidents." How well can you do? (presuming, of course, that your goal isn't that satisfying Ow!)

via digg.com

This blog post has been read and approved by Dina, who recognizes its exaggerated nature and comedic intent. Were I to watch the movie off-site no harm would come to me; Phil would be doing independent study in the library because 94 minutes of instruction time is too precious to fritter away on a movie. Yes, fritter. I can "Bah Humbug!" too.

[just got a 75-bouncer, cycled through the million-point scoreboard several times; full load of ammo]

Labels: ,


0 Snarky Remarks:

Get snarky