So Much Stuff I Can't Recall

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Special Offer for Network Executives

I just finished watching the pilot episode for the new series Heroes (thanks to an iTunes download code* courtesy of a gracious soul over at Infuze). Good stuff. A little cliched having the internet stripper be from Vegas, I thought; she and the rural indestructo-girl could've traded places and added some tension between the characters and their settings. Still, very good; very nice references to Star Trek, X-Men and The Matrix, among other things.

Which brings me to my offer to the execs at NBC. I'd like to watch your show, but if I do it will fail. So what's it worth to you to have the hit on your hands you really deserve?

Proof the show will struggle if I go out of my way to watch it? Just look what my viewership did to Nowhere Man, Dark Skies, Police Squad!, Millennium, Firefly, Crusade. I came late to the party for the first seasons of Buffy and Babylon-5 and they ran into renewal problems a season or two out.

I never watched Full House or Growing Pains and those went on and on forever. The omnipresence of "reality" programming on the tube? My fault. Never watched Survivor, American Idol, The Bachelor, etc. Watched Trump off and on; Carolyn, I apologize.

So, for the love of the adorable time/space-shifting Japanese nerd, don't let me watch your show, NBC. I'm not talking millions of dollars here. Seventy-five, a hundred grand and you're good to go.

Likewise, if you execs at any of the networks want your competition to tank, get in touch. I'll watch their shows and phhhhtttt, they're gone. Rates are 25-30% higher (I'd rather use my powers for good...), but still not unreasonable.

So get in touch. We'll talk. The fate of the world** depends on it.

*free from movie theaters; I think the Cinemark in Eugene is/was handing them out

**for very small values of fate



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