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So Much Stuff I Can't Recall

Monday, February 20, 2006

"I Didn't Know You Could Do That! with Brenda Coulter's Forthcoming Novel, A Family Forever."

For the record, Brenda's favorite auxillary use for her novel is in today's list.

And I'd like to add to something that Brenda Coulter (author of the forthcoming novel, A Family Forever) posted on her blog today:
I will caution you that some of Chris' suggestions may not be completely safe. As I sent him only the one free book, there's no way he could have conducted any exhaustive testing. Just so you know.
None of these household uses have been approved by Underwriters Laboratory, Better Homes & Gardens, or the Stuntperson Association of America (formerly Kickbutt Stunt Dudes and that Chick Who Does Stuff for Sigourney Weaver and Linda Hamilton). Injury or irreprable harm done to yourself or the book is not my problem. If you attempt to cross the Rockies in a homemade zeppelin and throwing Brenda Coulter's forthcoming novel, A Family Forever, overboard fails to lighten the load sufficiently and you have to spend a delightful weekend in Vail, don't send me your receipts expecting reimbursement. If you cut the cover into quarters to make impromptu business cards and then misspell your name or street address, don't send me a bill because you now have to buy a second book to try again; you should have written more carefully the first time and have only yourself to blame.

Yet 17 More Household Uses for Brenda Coulter's Forthcoming Novel, A Family Forever
  1. Trendy accelerator pedal if old hang-ten foot breaks.
  2. Remove cover, place it on really trashy legal thriller and fool your family, friends, and pastor.
  3. Toss into upturned hat as warm-up for playing card flicking.
  4. Hurl at child to get his attention when he's sitting so close to the TV that he's blocking the infra-red sensor (or the batteries in the remote are still dead) and he can't hear you tell him he needs to move back.
  5. Fodder for blog list of 101 things you can do with a friend's novel.
  6. Buy on amazon.ca, but tell friends the author comped it, even shipping it across the border at her cost because you're such an important fan.
  7. Cut pages into dollar bill-sized rectangles, wrap a fifty around it and secure with a rubber band for instant Michigan bankroll (my dad's from Flint so I can make this crack).
  8. Wrap small trout in pages at fishstand you run out of your garage.
  9. Cut pages into squares for practice origami papers.
  10. Use pages as funnels for disappearing milk illusion.
  11. Crime deterrent.
  12. Cover with baking soda, place in fridge to keep scent fresh.
  13. Scan pages with OCR software then transfer to e-book reader so it appears to casual viewer that you actually use the worthless gadget.
  14. Use as buffer to keep sharp-edged bookends from damaging collection of Tom Clancy first editions.
  15. Sharpen art skills by drawing the chest-burster from Alien emerging from belly of pregnant woman on the cover.
  16. Impromptu pot grabber for removing hot skillet from the stove top.
  17. Use as conversation starter about having bought it thinking it was a different book but were too embarrassed to return it to the bookstore.

Mikesell

2 Snarky Remarks:

You know, it's really going to be annoying when people who Google my name start seeing your blog in the top results.
;-)
Blogger Brenda Coulter, at 2:51 PM  
Yes, you have discovered my nefarious master plan. Mwah-ha-haaaah!
Blogger Mikesell, at 2:55 PM  

Get snarky