So Much Stuff I Can't Recall

It's been a week since we've been back from the cruise and I've mostly cooled off about the things that ticked me off on the vacation. Still, there may be some value in passing the info along.

The overarching theme of this rant has to do with customer service. Now 90% of the time Royal Caribbean and Disneyland have great customer service. The problem is that the 10% of the time when they don't came at the end of our time with them, souring our memories and lessening our desire to come back. Is it fair to rant on them for what is a relatively minor lapse in service? Perhaps not. But the primary reason for the rant is not because the service was bad, but because the companies pretended to be surprised by it.

Here's a for instance. On the cruise, passengers were allowed to leave the ship based on colored luggage tags. Our tags were pink. Pink was the last color to be called (we had the "cheap" rooms in the belly of the ship, so that's not too surprising). According to the schedule we were supposed to debark at 10:30a. At 11:15a our delay was blamed on extra processing being done at the customs stations because of increased Homeland Security restrictions. Now I'm sure there were extra steps being taken at customs, but I don't think we were the first set of passengers to be subjected to the long delay. So rather than pretend your passengers aren't becoming increasingly annoyed (even the ones who didn't spring for upper deck rooms), a) reprint the departure cards and mention that there may be delays or, better yet, b) reprint the cards taking the delays into account. So instead of "pink" getting off the ship at 10:30a, print 11:30a. Better yet, print 11:45a so it'll seem things are going quicker than expected.

And then, during those three extra hours we're spending on your ship, continue the excellent customer service we've had the previous three days. Sure you have to get ready for the next cruise, but is that any reason for all the waitstaff to disappear? The musicians? The trivia guy? How 'bout a movie in the fancy-schmancy theater? Make us wish we didn't have to leave so we'll want to come back again (with a fancier room next time). Instead, we're aching to turn our backs on your ship, convinced that customer service is linked solely to the mandatory 15% gratuities. (And if you're going to cut off water to the restrooms, perhaps because they're being pumped out or whatever, post a sign with a warning and an indication of where functioning facilities can be found.)

[Note to self: Next cruise, if there is a next cruise, make sure to claim to have an early flight and get the first-departure luggage tags.]

Disneyland at least did a good job of overestimating wait times, with the time posted usually being 30-50% longer than it actually took. Still, there were times they (should have) known problems were inevitable (if not likely/expected), but nevertheless feigned surprise after they occured.

For instance: Dina left the park in the evening to go get coats for herself and Phil and me. When she returned to the front gate she was informed that they weren't letting people in anymore (even though the ticket booths were doing a fairly brisk business). This was at about 8:00p and she was advised to try back at 10:00p. Now when she left the park (being sure to get her hand stamped and that she had her ticket with her for readmission), no one said anything about maybe not being able to get back in. (They could've made an easy $100 off us if we had had to buy sweatshirts in the gift shops on Main Street.) But nooooooooo, it was a total shock to them that the park would get full after the California Adventure Park next door closed at 7:00p (Disneyland was open 'til midnight) and Main Street would become congested with parade and fireworks watchers. As if that didn't happen every night of the previous eleven months of their 50th Anniversary celebration. As if there aren't alternate entry points into the park where they could have erected temporary admission booths (say around by Frontierland or Critter Corner). <sheesh>

[Dina eventually got back in around 8:30p. with no real apology or explanation why.]

Another totally flaky customer service moment came when Space Mountain broke down at about 11:15p. Now the ride had been having problems throughout the day, so it wasn't a total surprise (to the guests) that it would keep breaking down. But the guest services people seemed a little befuddled. Probably 80% of the people in line disappeared when it was announced that the ride was broken and probably wouldn't reopen that night. (Note the word probably.) So my nephew Nick and I kept waiting. Eventually some people from management showed up to hand out "go to the front of the line" passes to the crowd that hadn't already departed peaceably. Nick and I got to the guest services person and I asked what the problem was. She repeated the "the ride is broken and probably won't reopen tonight" line. "But it's not definite?" I asked. "Well," she explained, "it takes at least an hour to find and fix the problem and run all the tests; earlier today it took two and a half hours." "So why not say it's closed?" "I can't say that for certain...." (Bear in mind the park closes in half an hour at this point and she's talking to me like I'm the one who can't do math.) I eventually got her to admit that yes, the ride is closed. Nick and I took our passes and went to the front of the line at the Matterhorn. (I overheard another guest services guy pawn the problem off on the fact that the park was superbusy for the anniversary and that was why the ride kept breaking down ... except I knew the ride had broken down in the first hour the park had opened that day when the crowd was fairly light and it apparently had a two-and-a-half-hour break at some time during the day. Of course, earlier that day the malfunction of the Roger Rabbit ride was blamed on someone spilling a barrel of dip (the acetone-based substance that kills cartoons) on the track and the Winnie-the-Pooh ride breakdown was blamed on Tigger spilling a pot of honey, so I wasn't surprised by the obvious falsity of the guy's "explanation.")

[Note to self: making the girl from guest services at Disneyland cry is not among your best moments. Okay, she didn't cry, but you did exasperate her.]

(A final rantlet could be directed at the place that advertised extremely cheap 2- and 3-room suites but then multiplied the room rate by the number of rooms in the suite, but we were much better off staying in Anaheim rather than out on the coast and none of you are likely to ever consider staying where we were going to stay.)

So those are my rants. Much less vitriol than if I had blogged a week ago and my blood pressure is only slightly elevated. Please don't let my ranting dissuade you from either a Royal Caribbean cruise or a trip to Disneyland -- just don't let the lapses in customer service be as much as a surprise to you as they are to the guest services people (and if you don't go for the early departure tags, swipe a couple boxes of granola from the breakfast buffet on the ship so you'll have something to snack on during the wait).