So Much Stuff I Can't Recall

As Brenda C. pointed out earlier today, I have a romance novel to read. This is true. I'm just not sure it's the one I'm currently reading (The Enchanted Land by Jude Deveraux).

Here's the story so far: Morgan is a young woman who was raised on a country estate in Kentucky by her mother (who abandoned Morgan's father while all three lived in New Mexico). Both of Morgan's parents are dead and in order for her to inherit the country estate her father has laid down two stipulations. Stipulation the first: She must get married. The second: she and her husband must live in New Mexico for at least one year. If this is done by the time Morgan turns 25 (several years in the future), she wins. Otherwise everything goes to an uncle.

Okay, so there are some possibilities here: the uncle tries to thwart her plans, she can't find a man, etc. Well, except for the "etc." the possibilities are wrapped up by chapter two: she finds a man, Seth, who will give her his name and move to N.M. for one year in exchange for $25,000. As she is now married, the uncle disappears from the scene. All conflict in the story derives from the fact that Morgan intends to have the marriage annulled at the end of the year. Seth agreed to the arrangement confident that Morgan would change her mind once she saw how hunky he is.

Now I'm 20% of the way through and have just read three chapters of Morgan vacillating on her attitude toward Seth. He's so hunky ... but mama warned me about men ... but he's soooo hunky ... but .... Seth is also by turns hot and cold toward Morgan: you're a tease ... you're a bitca* ... oooh, baby baby ... you're a whore .... We're halfway to New Mexico (not that we experience any of travelogue along the way, just Morgan and Seth moping about each other) and finally there's a rival for Seth, the more-wealthy and possibly-even-hunkier Joachin. Now Morgan is continuing to fall for Seth (despite Joachin's influence), but Seth is behaving badly because of his jealousy re: Joachin.

Chapter six opens with Morgan asking their trailhand, "Jake, what's a whore?"

Is this typical of Romance novels? Are all heroines so bipolar: supremely confident yet insanely naive? Are all plots so free of conflict and what conflict they do have neglects to involve consequences for failure (i.e., actual stakes)? Sure Morgan and Seth are all conflicted, but so what? If she maintains her "strictly business" position she gets the Kentucky estate. If she and Seth do get together she gets Seth and the Kentucky estate. She wins either way, or am I as a reader supposed to hope she will cave and see hunky Seth for all he has to offer her (which so far just seems to be sex) and get all squirmy when it looks like maybe she won't. Is that what passes for "well-written" romance? Is that's what expected of me as a romance reader?

As part of the Read-a-Romance challenge, Brenda read Misery by Stephen King. She didn't like it. Fair enough. Personally, I'd like to read a romance that I'd like, and so far this book ain't it. Having picked this somewhat by random, I have little problem picking another. As this book is 25 years old, maybe it's too far out of "contemporary" to be relevant to goals of the challenge.

So, if this is a typical romance, I'll go on. If not, I've found a copy of Midnight Bayou by Nora Roberts, which Kirkus Reviews describes as "a gumbo seasoned with ghosts, love, and murder on the bayou." It was published in 2001. Nora's sounds like something more up my street, but maybe it's atypical. Maybe romance is all "his breath quickening" and "tingling down the backs of her thighs." Maybe ghosts and murder and gumbo have no place in romance.

So, Brenda, what dost thou say? Shall I switch to a book that I expect I won't entirely hate or continue with one that pretty much confirms my prejudices against the genre? Or, if anyone's read this book, does it get better? Are there actual conflicts. Are there ever any consequences dealt to Morgan. Should I keep reading it and once I fall in love with the genre give Nora's book a go? Lemme know in the comments.

*(as spelled by Willow Rosenberg on Buffy the Vampire Slayer) "She's such a bee-eye-tee-cee-ai" (at which point Mr. Giles cut in and told her she's old enough not to have to spell such words and Xander Harris said, "Bitca?")